The Tale of a Muffin
by ShadesOfSilver7
Summary: In a forest engulfed in war, one cat- the fulfiller of the generic prophecy- will bring prosperity to the clans. But our hero was born in the blood of taboo breakfast snacks. How will our dear Muffinkit defeat the darkness and all while being persecuted for her half blood and her love for anime?
1. The Origin of Muffin

**A/N: Okay, this first chapter is not actually part of the story, this is just my um… reasoning… for writing this mess of a story.**

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The Origin of Muffin

The courtroom was dusty- to say the least. Literally, there was dust on every inch of any surface. Silver was at least 87% sure that Judge Fire himself was made of said dreaded dust. 'So the rumors are true.' Silver thought to herself. 'They really are in desperate need a janitor.' It was though she were trying to keep her mind off of her trial.

"So," rasped the voice of Judge Fire of the highest pedestal. "It seems you've been charged with lazily updated fanfiction," He had a long list, but wasn't naming every act the girl had committed- in an attempt to save time. "Poorly portrayed characters and humor so unfunny that we couldn't even get Bevis and Butthead to laugh at them, am I correct, Ms. Shadow?"

"That's Mrs. Shadow, sir." The bookworm corrected boldly.

"Ah- and the claim that you are romantically involved with... Many, many, many fictional characters." Judge Fire flipped through the pages of Ms. Shadow's moral crimes.

"I- I haven't romantically self-inserted myself into any of the stories sir, I can assure you of that!" She cried defensively.

Judge Fire looked past his elevated desk. "Ms. Shadow, You've a known reputation for your fondness of fictional boys. We're investigating your home as we speak. Never the less- even if we don't find any bad OCs, you've still committed enough crimes to fill a lifetime."

Silver looked down at her bound hands.

"Ms. Shadow, at what time will your lawyer be arriving?" Judge Dawn questioned.

Pausing and lifting up her head she realized she had forgotten to contact him. "Uh. Well... Well you see..." She stuttered nervously. If they found out there was no one coming to defend her- surely she would be cast down. Then again, Silver did pride herself of her ability to stall and argue. She could easily defend herself against four measly judges. But she reminded herself that fanfiction lawful systems were different than the Earthern ones.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Shadow. But if no one is willing to defend you, seems we're going to have to proceed with your sentence." said Judge Star apologetically.

"No! You can't! Please- I just got out from last year! You can't do this to me!" Silver pleaded.

Judge Violet sighed. "We are truely sorry, but we cannot have an Author such as yourself roaming around the sacred walls of fanfiction."

Dramatic music began to play as Judge Fire began her sentencing.

"Silver Shadow..." Started Judge Fire.

"No, no! You can't! I'll do better! I'll update 4kids! Please! Anything but this!"' the girl promised but everyone knew it was a lie.

"You are hereby sentenced to write Warriors Fanfiction!"

"No! I have so much to live for! Don't do this to me! Please! I have a family that needs me!"

"You have fallen from Grace, Silver Shadow. In order to regain your place as an Author, you must prove your worth in writing for your first fandom ever!"

Silver's legs gave out as she sobbed to the floor. "I have so many regrets! I've done so much to forget them! My first fandom! I could never go back!"

"Goodbye, Ms. Shadow. You had potential. Perhaps you can prove yourself one last time." With that, Judge Fire banged his gavel on the desk and the floor below the sobbing mess of a girl gave out. Silver fell from the Courtroom in the sky and onto a pen and notebook in the middle of the forest.

"My grace... It's gone. Oh gods no!" She cried. "I-I have to start writing now. If I ever am going to regain my place as an Author."

Silver picked up the ball point pen and began her writing.

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**Okay but actually I was out of inspiration so my friend suggested I write for my first fandom to see how things have changed. She was like "action adventure" and I was all "weeaboo muffin".**


	2. The Begin

It was an exciting day in ShrubberyClan. Palmtree was about to have her first litter of kits! For some reason, every clan cat had literally nothing better to do other than wait outside of the nursery until the fresh kittens were born. Awkward chatter was forced upon them while they waited for the new clan members to arrive.

"Uh, wonderful weather we're having..." Cactustoe commented with a forced laugh.

"It's always nice weather unless convient to the plot." Fuzzylake reminded in his lacking-in-personality-voice.

And that was the only speaking part between those two completely unimportant characters that will ever happen again because they're pointless.

Suspense was killing them. How long would they have to wait until the kits came?

"Hold up!" hissed Discopaw. "I think the kits are here!" She knew for some reason.

All of the cats yowled in excitement. Mice were thrown into the air, colorful hats were worn, fireworks ensued. The clan was having a ball. More in depth a sphere. It wasn't until the yellow medicine cat Funkychicken poked his head out of the nursery that everyone fell silent.

The wise feline cleared his voice before he spoke. "Oh hi fellow clan members. They are fluffy. Very fluffy. Yes…" He sounded an awful lot like a confused Tommy Wiseau trying to improvise.

They began cheering again. But before anyone else in the clan could greet the "new fluffies" or "very kittens" or whatever, the leader of ShrubberyClan (and unpaid deputy intern) made their ways through the ruckus of cats. They cleared a path way for the strong willed, body temperature equivalent of an ice cube, giver of 0 fucks, badass of the forest she-cat that brought the clan out of despair. She herself must examine the kits and deem the them worthy of her presence.

"Let me see them." Insisted Oakstar, once she was in the den. Oakstar had a highly unusual name for a cat of ShrubberyClan. Was often made fun of in her early years. However- her enemies tears of disparity fueled her inner goddess resulting in her leading one of the most successful clans in the forest.

Palmtree was a bit hesitant at first, but she realized she couldn't hide it forever. She moved her tail out of the way to show two brown little kittens. Oakstar's intern dropped her clipboard as she gasped and fainted. Oakstar was above such petty reactions and stood her ground.

"You think this is a game, Palmtree?" The leader quickly caught on.

Palmtree stuffed her face into her paws. "I didn't mean for it to go this far!" She sobbed. "I thought maybe they'd take after me instead. I can't show these kits to the clan! What would they think?"

"Now, now," Oakstar reassured. "I know how it feels to be despised for something you cannot control. I will let no harm come to these kits. In fact, I myself will be the mentor of one of them, and my light headed deputy will fashion the other."

"So... So we're not banished for my actions against the warrior code?" asked Palmtree.

"Would there be a plot if you were?" Oakstar said.

Palmtree bowed her head in respect. "You are most merciful!"

"Now we must make a blood sacrifice."

"Wait what?"

Oakstar punched Palmtree in the nose- which bled profusely. "Yes. Good."

Funkychicken tended to the queen's nose as she spoke. "I think I'll name this one... Bramblekit. And this one-"

"Muffinkit." said the half-conscious intern. "There is no shame in hiding who she truly is."

Palmtree looked at her kit lovingly. "You'll do great things one day, Muffinkit."

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**So, let me know if you like it, love it, hate it and want it to burn? Follow, favorite, bleach your brain?**

**It'll pick up speed soon.**

**Oh, and if I got anything wrong about the warrior's code/universe just know that I haven't actually picked up a warriors book in a while.**


	3. Already A Filler Chapter?

**Already a Filler Chapter?**

It had been 4 moons since Muffinkit and Bramblekit were born, and that meant their apprenticeship ceremony was drawing nearer. Luckily no one thought enough to ask who their father was- it's a good thing ShrubberyClan wasn't particularly famous for it's intellectual agenda. However, not all was well for our little Muffinkit. First and foremost, when her clan mates first caught sight of her, they didn't know how to react. For they had never had a muffin in the clan before. This lead to Muffinkit's freindlessness and bulliment. But that was another thing. Muffinkit couldn't give two shits about being bullied. And that's most likely because she could barely understand anything they were saying. That's right. Muffinkit's linguistics were limited to amateur weeaboo. The vocabulary of a overly eccentric fangirl.

Meanwhile in the nursery, Muffinkit- being the mischievous little scamp she was- was growing itchy with excitement. There wasn't much to do in the den after she finished watching Death Note.

"Bramblekit-san! Want to go out and explore?"

Bramblekit who actually didn't have as much of a "stereotypical troublemaking kit" personality thought this through logically. "Muffinkit, do you really think that's a good idea? A kit in a forest full of bions, ligers and tears. Oh dear. When mom was reading us fanfiction, there were these kits that went out and found the main villain of the story. How much of a spoiler is that? Nothing good comes from it, sister."

"Ehhh! But Bramblekit-san, everyone does it as a kit! And they never get in trouble with authorities. Because they're kits and they aren't supposed to know any better! Do you want to be left out of the tradition, Bramblekit-san?"

"Muffinkit, it's a lazy plot device! Don't succumb to it!"

"Fine, you can stay here and be bored, but I'm going on an adventure!"

And with that, the tiny muffin jumped out of the den without anyone noticing because apparently the clan isn't very attentive when it comes to kit-watching.

Needless to say, the forest was super weird. There were those crazy grey lumps sprawled randomly along the forest floor. Muffinkit had only ever seen one in her camp grounds, but no one ever told her what it was. How old is she again? There was- now stay with me on this- a never ending rectangular hole in the ground full of running water! _What is it running from?_ Muffinkit thought. And Muffinkit had seen a few trees. But these trees were like, bigger than her... A lot bigger! It made them so pretentious. Who did these trees think they were? Looking down on her like this. Yes, the forest was a weird place indeed.

"Hei darr!" Came a voice behind the bushes.

Muffinkit panicked. "Wh-whose there?"

A rainbow cat rolled out from the leaves while giggling uncontrollably. "hehe I haz a funneh joek to tellz u hehe."

The young muffin stiffened. "What are you saying?" She asked cautiously.

"BUTTER PIGEON MILK GRAPE GRAPE ZOMG IM SO RANDUM LOLOL!111!1!eleven!"

Muffinkit shrieked and raced as fast as she could away from the psychotic creature.

"DON B HATIN IM SOOOPR FUNNEH LOLOLOL!EIGHT!qr!"

What kind of sick place is this? Obviously the forest is no place for a small neko like me! thought Muffinkit.

Muffinkit couldn't really remember what came after that, but there was a vague memory of a rocket launcher and a plethora of waffle mix...

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**The horror...**

**Anyway, I love feedback, and I love you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**


	4. The Training Begins

**The Training Begins**

After moons of extreme therapy, Muffinkit and Bamblekit's apprenticeship ceremonies were finally nearing. Muffinkit didn't get in trouble for leaving camp, seeing as no one would condemn her fate to even their worst enemy. She had run into the dreaded Stupidfur. It's funny because "stupid" shouldn't be in a warrior cats name. It's funny. Laugh.

Anyway, the ceremony really wasn't worth noting. They're all pretty much the same. They get up on the rock, feel the sun on their fur as they swell up with pride, swear the blood oath on your mother's grave that you will slay thine enemies and aim for the jugular and it's considered a successful event. Maybe throw in a poop joke and call it a chapter. Well, the author is above that kind of humor. Obviously.

Bramblepaw was assigned to Oakstar's unpaid intern, because Bramblepaw's education wasn't a big enough deal for her to get a quality mentor. This story is only about the accomplishments of our dear Muffinpaw. Bramblepaw is simply there to be Muffinpaw's shadow and die when their is a lack of angst. Err! Spoilers. Ignore that last part.

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"Muffinpaw!" Boomed the extraordinarily strengthened leader cat. She had taken the young muffin to the usual battle training clearing. "Today I will be teaching you how to fight like a she-cat."

"But, Oakstar-Senpai," Muffinpaw exclaimed. "I'm just a beginner! Aren't I supposed to explore our kawaii desu borders first?"

Oakstar laughed sardonically. "Not my apprentice! No, not if you want to learn to be the best warrior you can be. I'm going to teach you the ways of the triangle foxes!"

"Senpai, I wasn't aware there was a-"

"Ways of the TRY- angle foxes! It means no matter what- we will always TRY to find the best ANGLE because your leader was raised by FOXES!"

And so it was revealed. Though her reasoning made less sense than any Ash/Pikachu yaoi fan fiction Muffinpaw had ever written, or… maybe not... Oakstar was definatly raised by foxes.

"Senpai- I had no idea! Please teach me the way of the triangle foxes!"

"Butofcourse!" The fearless leader shouted as she pulled Muffinkit into a tightly held embrace. "You are too soft for this world, Muffinpaw. That will change. If the delicious breakfast food will bring light in the darkness. Just like the generic prophecy states." Her last statement wasn't directed at anyone in particular.

"Senpai what are you talking about? You sound very un- doki do-..."

"Muffinpaw, please, do not finish that sentence."

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Oakstar stood in the middle of the small clearing. "Muffinpaw. Attack me."

"Wh-what?" Muffinpaw did a weird blush thing that cats can't actually do in real life.

"Do you want to be a legend? A well- respected she-cat?"

"Yes Senpai!"

"Then you will do as I say and attACK ME HEAD ON!"

Muffinpaw- startled by Oakstar's meow of leadership- impulsively ran straight forward without preparation. She did as she was told and lept at her leader.

"Muffinpaw." Oakstar started. "What are you doing."

The small cat had her face smushed against her Leader's chest, as if it would tip her over. Muffinpaw's legs made walking in place motions as she made incoherent gasping noises. "I will move you, Senpai!"

Simply enough, Oakstar slid out of the way causing Muffinpaw to topple down into the dirt. She sort of just stayed there for a while. Looking dead.

"Get up," The fearless leader began calmly. "Get off that floor."

Muffinpaw didn't give off a hint about getting up anytime soon.

"Get on up!" Oakstar yelled. That shook the young apprentice awake. "You give up too easily! I did not assign myself upon a weak kit!"

"S-Senpai..."

"Don't you _'Senpai_' me! I believe in you, Muffinpaw! And I know you're capable of great things! But first, you must believe in...** Yourself**!" Oakstar kicked a sycamore in half.

Everything went silent for a while, until Muffinpaw bowed her head. "Yes, Sensei."

Oakstar nodded. "Now, that's more like it!"

The two cats trained from dawn 'till dusk. Muffinpaw had much to learn if she was going to save the clan from utter despair...


End file.
